JoltVib

Creamy, crunchy, deliriously sweet kids’ cereal and milk was my nectar and ambrosia growing up. I would have eaten that stuff day and night — even if there weren’t toys occasionally waiting inside. Those days I got my Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs and a chance at a delightful new toy? Those were the best.

Sadly, Google’s marketing team didn’t quite capture that nostalgia in a new Pixel 4 giveaway — because the picture you see above (and its associated video) is a terrible, terrible lie.

Yes, the irony of Calvin and Hobbes was totally lost on me as a child

Can you imagine the anticipation of cracking open a box of cereal wondering if a free $800+ smartphone is inside? That an explosion of alkali-processed cocoa and disintegrated corn might be accompanied by a flagship Google handset tumbling into your bowl?

But imagine if Google had done it right and made it a total surprise. Your phone is IP68-rated, Google! It should be able to handle crushed corn dust and a splash of milk just fine. Yes, perhaps it’d be way too heavy for a box of cereal and give its presence away — but I’d definitely have mailed in quite a few box-tops for a chance at a phone with built-in radar. Sure would have beaten a propeller beanie, if you know what I mean.

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